Why Easter is Different Now

Over a year has passed since I have shared my heart with you. 

This past year has led me through dark valleys and left me with deep scars. Yet this year has also led my heart to a new place of joy, contentment, and peace. 

About a year ago, my sweet Momma began having intense pain in her back. Soon she was in a wheelchair, fighting to find a solution to her pain. When news was found Mom's cancer had spread, she resolved to fight with courage and joy. She did exactly this until October 22, when she drew her last earthly breath and entered into the kingdom God had prepared for her.

April 2014-A special day at the zoo with Brown family

As I look back on my journal from last Easter this is what I found:


Father, I recognize I am unworthy to know your boundless grace and everlasting love. I know I hurt your heart in the way I am angry and worried and allow my fear about Momma to cause my joy to go away. I believe in you to heal her. I believe and trust in you to sustain her. Take away the cancer. Keep it from spreading. Heal her back Father, take away the pain. Fill her with your joy and presence during this hard season. I give my Momma to you. Thank you for holding her, carrying her, filling her heart with you. Guide the doctors as they make decisions. Sustain my sweet Momma Father. I plead and bow before you. Thank you.

My Heavenly Father did answer this prayer in so many ways. It was only in His joy could Momma face another day of pain with a smile on her face, loving and caring for us during this trial. It was only through His presence could she face another procedure with a peaceful contentment. It was only through His faithful provision did He completely heal my Momma of all earthly pain and sorrow. 

Since October I have discovered and fallen more in love with the character of God than I ever have. God has listened to my anger, my small faith, my doubts, counted every tear, yet has still chosen to show His love to me through His word, my hubby, family, friends, sunshine, laughter, my students, and music.

Some days I do not have a smile to give. I do not want to get out of bed. Simple tasks such as getting ready for the day sometimes feels insurmountable. There are nights where my pillow is soaked with tears and I can't catch my breath from sobs. Please realize I am experiencing deep sorrow YET my heart knows the truth. 

This is the truth I want to reflect on with you today. 

This Easter is different for me because I know my Momma is in heaven with our Risen Savior,  celebrating the greatest victory our world will ever know-Christ's victory over death. 

My heart finds a newfound JOY as I read Revelation 4 and imagine this amazing scene of worship. Around the throne there is a emerald rainbow reflecting on a sea of glass. The throne is surrounded by wondrous, living creatures with wings who are always, day and night, saying, "Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty, Who was and is and is to come." The throne is of wonder as He who sits on it is shining as brilliant jasper. John also hears a chorus of heavenly choir singing praise. How amazing to imagine Momma worshipping here!

This is the same John who documents Jesus saying in chapter 16:33, "These things I have spoken to you that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." 

About 2,000 years ago the disciples with Mary Magdalene and other women believers, found the stone rolled away, the seal broken, the grave clothes empty, angels telling them the good news,"HE IS RISEN!"

Jesus Christ gives us profound HOPE today through his Resurrection. Not only are we offered everlasting life through this precious gift of grace, we are offered peace on this Earth as we face trials and tribulation. 

These past few weeks I have been memorizing 1 Peter 1: 3-9. The same Peter who ate fish and drank coffee (ok, probably not but I'm gonna pretend) with the Resurrected Jesus by the sea. This is where Jesus restores Peter and tell him to feed his sheep. (John 21)

Peter writes:
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 
who according to His ABUNDANT MERCY
has given us a LIVING HOPE
through the RESURRECTION of Jesus
to an INHERITANCE incorruptible, undefiled, and does not fade away, 
reserved in HEAVEN for you, 
who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

In this you GREATLY REJOICE, 
though now if need be, for a little while, 
you have been GRIEVED BY VARIOUS TRIALS, 
that the GENUINENESS of your faith, 
being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it be tested by fire, 
may be found to PRAISE, GLORY, HONOR, and GLORY at the revelation of Jesus, 
whom having not seen you LOVE, 
though you do not see him, yet believing, 
your REJOICE with JOY INEXPRESSIBLE and full of glory 
receiving the end of your faith, the salvation of your souls. 

Let us rejoice amist our grief today friend. We truly have so very much to rejoice about. We live in the abundance of God's love, with an unfading promise of heaven, an eternal life with the Risen Savior. 

Happy Easter!

Redeeming the Time

Wow! In the whirlwind of beginning a new school year, I have allowed half the year to go by without spending time sharing on my blog. It is exciting to once again share my heart.

This Christmas and New Year season, God has laid a message on my heart I want to share with you and believe it or not, it all begins with a Karen Kingsbury book. 

You see, when I was in high school and college I read every single one of her books. Then I turned to reading non-fiction and memoirs because I felt I was wasting my time reading about imaginary people's lives. At the library a couple of weeks ago, I saw Kingsbury's new book Coming Home.  With some more free time to do some reading over Christmas break, I picked it up. 

This book led tears to run down my face more than once in the quietness of our bedroom as I read well past midnight.

In a horrible accident, a mother, father, and 3 daughters are killed on their way home (traveling from Texas to Indiana) for a special birthday party. The book shows the battle in the hearts of brothers and sisters. One sister is devastated because she feels there were too many things left unsaid between her and her sister. Hurt words and actions were left alone in their fragile relationship. She wishes for one more chance to tell her sister she loved her and believed in her.
Of course, the family begins to question God but then quickly realizes the only way to make sense of this tragedy is to cling to God's promise of faithfulness and everlasting life. 

Then this morning I read in Ephesians 5: 15-17 which says, "So be careful how you live, not as fools but as those who are wise. Make of most of every opportunity for doing good in these evil days, redeeming the time."
        The study notes in my bible say, "As a believer, your purpose is to fulfill               God's purposes in this Earth, lining up every opportunity for useful worship         or service."

How does this story and verse go together in a life changing way for me? 

I realized I must live each day to fullest because tomorrow may simply never come for me, my loved ones, the ones God has laid on my heart to share His love.
I want to look for ways each day to show Justin, my husband, I love and admire him.
I want my parents to know I love them and am so appreciative of the way they support, encourage, provide, and love me.
I want by brothers to know I believe in them and am sorry for the way I get too focused on my own life instead of investing in theirs the way I should.
I want to spend more time with my grandparents and listen to stories of their life growing up.
I want to talk to and serve my co-workers at school by shining for Christ through a joyful attitude and humble heart. 

Above all, I want to wake each morning singing in my heart the tune my mother taught me when I was a little girl. "This is the day, this is the day that the Lord has made, that the Lord had made, we will rejoice, we will rejoice, and be glad in it." I want to live each moment in Him and for Him even during the normalcy of life such as doing dishes, folding laundry, checking math papers, or waiting in traffic. I want to see each moment if a gift from God, an "opportunity for worship or service".

As you begin 2014, embrace each day, redeeming the time. Tell your loved ones you love them and praise God for each moment, even the not so happy ones. He is our Redeemer, may we live our moments in a way that brings Him praise and glory.

Do You Need to Be Revived?

Justin (my husband) and I just spent a wonderful week at the beach. For our ride down there, Justin bought some Old Time bluegrass songs for him and the Passion CD for me. One song, "Revive Me, Lord" has really spoken to my heart these past couple days. 

I had never really thought of what it means for the Lord to revive me. Now I believe it means to empty myself of me and allow Him to fill my heart, to restore it to be completely full of Him.

As I let go of summer and begin to embrace the planning, the excitement, and the frenzy of a new school year, my heart begins to feel overwhelmed. I know I will miss the summer days of sharing each day with my hubby (he is a teacher too), going on spur of the moment camping trips, sleeping in, and reading. It is time to learn to teach and love this new group of students God will place in my room this school year.

You know what? Yesterday I was fighting this. I did not want to think about letting summer go. Many things were on my mind yesterday and as each situation began to spiral downward, so did my tears. I was extremely emotional over very little things and needed to stop, take a deep breath and ask the Lord to revive me, to empty me of me and fill me with him. 

So often I focus on what isn't important in life. I want the Lord to help me "focus on what is unseen, for it is eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:18). I will never be able to do this without His spirit of love, joy, patience, and kindness filling me. 

When I am sad, He revives me with gladness.
When I am worried, He revives me with peace.
When I'm full of questions, He revives me with His faithfulness.
When I'm overwhelmed, He revives me with gentleness. 
When I feel alone, He revives me with unconditional love.
When I'm frustrated, He fill me with patience.

I challenge you to listen to this song with a heart of praise, asking the Lord to revive you. I promise, the reward is great!

A Good And Perfect Gift: Faith, Expectations, and A Little Girl Named Penny

This insightful book led my heart to a new level of understanding for families raising special needs children. 

Amy Julia Becker, the author, tells the story of her pregnancy and the first two years of life as a mother to a precious little girl named Penny. The day of Penny's birth brought joy, anger, and worry, for Penny was diagnosed with Down Syndrome.

At the beginning of each chapter, Becker shares an exert from her past personal journals. As a devoted  journaler myself, I greatly enjoyed this deep look into her heart. We both seem to find peace and fulfillment in sharing our heart on paper. Becker shares her story of faith, how her view of God changed when her daughter came into her life. For so long her faith had been easy, as simple as breathing. When Penny was born, anger and doubt clouded her faith. Question of "why" rose to surface again and again. God continued to reveal Himself to Becker in many ways, slowly moving away the clouds of doubt and questions. She states, "I believe in a God who doesn't always make sense. I believe in a God who overturns expectations and cannot be controlled by me. I believe in a God who loves so deeply as to be willing to allow us to suffer, that we might have fullness of life.." (p. 152)

Becker helps me see through the eyes of a parent raising a child with Down Syndrome. She helped me feel the worry of taking Penny into public for fear of looks or scrutiny, the feeling of unknown in life expectancy and rate of development, the complete trust that must be put in doctors and tests. I also felt the joy when a small milestone is reached, when communication takes place, or when yet another life is touched due to Penny's love for life and others. 

May we see each child, each person we meet as a gift from God. How often we forget we are each created  in His image, with love and purpose. 

Psalm 139:13 says, "For you formed my inward parts, you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works, my soul knows it very well."

What we call a disability or a special need, God calls beautifully and wonderfully made. God didn't make a mistake when he made Chromosome 21 be replicated in every cell in Penny's body. Becker believes this happened so His glory and power could be revealed in her, the same way God's glory and power was revealed through the blind man in John 9. 

I couldn't agree with her more. 

Top 10 At Home Date Ideas

Here are some creative ideas for date nights at home. Enjoy!

1. UNO tournament
        This simple game has brought much laughter to our home this summer. What started out as a small tournament to see who could get the best of 5 games has turned into a competitive duel. My husband is beating me 26 games to 10! And oh, how we doesn't let me forget. 
Note: We have changed the rules a little to best fit 2 people. Start with 10 cards and only draw 1 card when you can't play. Also, if the dealer can deal a perfect 10 to each plays in the beginning of the game, the opponent gets 10 extra points. The first player to reach 100 points or above loses the game.

2. Nerf Gun fight
     Buy two simple Nerf guns from your nearest drug store and have fun chasing each other around the house screaming and laughing like children. The first player to hit their spouse 3 times wins the game. 

3. Snuggle and watch a movie
     Make a batch of homemade popcorn and enjoy a good movie together all while snuggling.

4. Ice cream sundae date on patio
     Make sundaes at home with all your favorite toppings. As the sun sets and the stars come out, enjoy your ice cream and each others presence outside for a while.

5. Go camping in your yard
     Who says you have to spend $20.00 a night to have a nice campsite? Pitch up a tent in your backyard and enjoy a mini vacation. 

6. Romantic dinner at home
    Wives, surprise your husband with his favorite home cooked meal complete with white Christmas lights     streaming overhead. Wear one of your favorite dresses and tell him to dress up too! After dinner, slow dance to the song you danced to at your wedding.

7. Look at old photo albums
     Pull out old albums from when you first started dating and reminiscence over all the special memories.

8. Go on a long walk
    If your neighborhood isn't the best place for a walk, go to a nearby park to enjoy a long walk. Listen to your spouse as he or she talks and ask a lot of questions. Or just enjoy each other's presence with no talking. Don't forget to hold hands.

9. Play music together
     Pull out the old guitar, spend time at the piano, clap your hands to the drums. If one of you plays an instrument, teach your spouse! 

10. Plan your next big vacation
     When is your next vacation time? What is the budget? Where do we want to go? How do we want to save? Look at pictures and set both of your hearts on a destination you want to visit with a date in mind. 

I hope these ideas have reminded you how important it is to be silly, create memories, and spend quality time with your spouse keeping all your heart's attention on them.

Linked to Top Ten Tuesday at Many Little Blessings

Through a Dog's Eyes by Jennifer Arnold

Picture

If you love your dog and want to understand the reasoning behind his or her behaviors and emotions, this is a must read for you.

Jennifer Arnold, the author, is the founder and executive director of Canine Associates, a service-based school in Milton, Georgia. She shares amazing stories of how their service dogs have brought the chance of second life to the children and adults they serve. Some stories will bring tears to your eyes and a dance to your step.

I believe the constant theme through this book is truly the saying we have always heard: A dog is a man's best friend. Dogs are devoted to their owners in a fierce way and actually have a need for us to acknowledge them and let them know they please us. The author states, "Failing to assure them of that would be ever bit as devastating for our dogs as failing to feed them." (p. 87)

This book also teaches you many facts such as:
~ Dogs have limited vision. Humans vision strives to be 20/20 while dogs eyesight is 80/20. This means what we can see from eighty feet away, dogs can't see well until they are within 20 feet. (p. 44)
~ Most experts agree that dogs can't see reds and greens but they can see yellow and blue. Therefore, what is red to us looks yellow to them and what is green to us looks grayish-white to them. (p. 47)
~ Dogs have many rods in their eyes which help them see in low light. Dogs can see 5 times better at night than we can! (p. 51)
~ Dogs can hear much better than we can. If we were going to match our limit of hearing to a dog's hearing, we would have to add 48 new keys to the right of the keyboard, 20 of which we would not be able to hear. (p 50)
~ Humans have about 9,000 different taste buds and dogs only about 1,706. This is why dogs can be known to eat goose or rabbit poop! (p.49)


I was surprised to learn about the depth of dog's emotions. The author tells a story of her beloved Nick, a service dog she would travel with to meet children and adults needing encouragement. One day, they were called to comfort a little boy who was in a horrible skateboard accident. The child's own dog was not allowed into the hospital so Nick came, jumped up on the bed, maneuvered through the tubes and wires, and laid quietly at the boy's side. Nick stayed on the bed without moving for two and a half hours with the child's arm draped around Nick. The child passed away while Nick was there and then Nick comforted the crying mother, allowing her to hug and cry on him. After a sad good-bye, Nick and Mrs. Arnold headed to the elevator where Nick lay down with a groan and would not get up when the doors opened. He had to be carried to the car. Nick stayed this way through the duration of the day. The author uses this story to show how dogs can experience grief and sadness. She is unsure if Nick actually felt this emotion himself or could feel the stress and sadness coming from her and the boy's mother. Nonetheless, dogs feel emotion. Have you ever noticed a dog's desire to please you? Jennifer Arnold believes dogs experience secondary emotions such as disappointment, stress, and jealously.


Most importantly of all, the stories shared in the book clearly demonstrate how dogs truly do love their owners and will do anything to protect and please them. For example, because of an injury as a young adult, Troy required that his wife, Judy, give him hard, sharp slaps on the back to help clear his lungs. The first time Troy's service dog, Kay witnessed the lung-clearing, she was horrified. Initially, Kay whined and barked. The she attempted to pay Judy's hand away. When those efforts didn't work, she laid her head on Troy's back, prepared to absorb the next blow. (p.129). There is also a story of a service dog named Roxie whose job was to alert the mom, Clair, when her little boy ventilator alarm went off. One morning, Clair was outside getting the mail and talking to a neighbor when the alarm sounded. Roxie could not get to Clair. Before Ben(the boy) lost consciousness, he saw Roxie run behind his chair. When Clair came into the house, Roxie ran up, grabbed her sleeve and pulled her back to Ben's room. The reset switch on the ventilator had been switched. While Roxie had not been trained for this, she was doing what she saw Clair do. Clair also noticed blood on the switch, on Ben's chair, and on the floor of the house. Roxie had scratched on the door so hard with both her front paws, trying to get to Clair, that she had rubbed her nails down to the quick. The marks on the big wooden door were bloody and deep. Roxie was trying to get the help needed for the young man she loved. (p. 126)

Source

This book is full of so many stories and facts that I can't possibly recall everything to you. Something else you might enjoy learning about is the test to confer which puppies will be good service dogs and a test to see what your own dog's personality is. The Appendix is also full of ways to train your dog with positive reinforcements.

The book refers to a fable that I thought was precious. This fable explains why a dog's nose is always wet:
     As the story goes, the two dogs on Noah's Ark were responsible for patrolling the boat to check on the well-being of the other animals. One day, while on their rounds, the dogs discovered a small leak in the boat's hull. Realizing that a leak meant grave trouble, one dog ran for help while the other used his long nose to plug the hole until his help arrived. God was so pleased that he commanded that henceforth all dogs would have cold, wet noses to commemorate their intelligence and bravery. (p.49).

If you have time this summer, pick this book up at your library and enjoy this insightful read.

Top 10 Favorites of Summer

What comes to your mind and heart when you think of summer? Here is  list of ten of my favorite things about this hot yet delightful season:

1. Reflecting: As a teacher with 2 months summer vacation, I enjoy the time to reflect. My heart reflects on my students, my walk with Christ, family, summer projects, and praises to my Savior for carrying me through the year.

2. Long Quiet Times: Not having to set a time limit on my quiet time is a treat for summer. Digging into His word for a long as my soul delights fills my heart in a new way, re-energizing me for the seasons to come.

3. Sharing each day with my hubby: Justin is also a teacher and how lucky we are to have summer break together! It is a joy to share each day with him.

4. Melted Ice Cream: You may be thinking, "What, melted ice cream?" I think ice cream is the best when it is just a little melted. On a hot summer evening, a bowl of ice cream brings much happiness to my heart and tummy.

5. Sleeping Late: During the school year, our alarm goes off at 5:00 a.m. During summer, we seldomly need to set our alarm. It's fun to sleep as late as you want, waking up to the sun actually shining instead of when its still sleeping too!

6. Reading: Oh my, do I love to read. Here is my reading list for the summer:

Through a Dog's Eyes: Understanding our Dogs by Understanding How they See the World by Jennifer Arnold

Click here to see description

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

Click here to see description

The Vow: The True Events that Inspired the movie by Kim Carpenter

Click here to see description

Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker

Click here to see description

7. Vacations: Camping and the Beach. What an amazing state of NC we live in to be able to drive to both!

8. Long Walks: Sadie, our dog, loves to walk. In the mornings or evenings we enjoy long walks and have time to enjoy the songs of the birds and the shapes of clouds in the sky.

9. Music: My husband has a wonderful talent of music. This summer he has taught himself how to play the banjo and has introduced me to Old Time Music. He can also play the guitar, mandolin, fiddle, and dulcimer. I love having time to enjoy his music and sing along at times.

10. Being able to ask myself, "What do I want to do now?" I am thankful for the free time summer brings. During the school year, sometimes I feel as if I can't catch my breath with business. I am thankful for the rest of summer.

I hope you are able to bask in the sun and enjoy this season as well.

Ecclesiastes 3:21 "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven."

Shared with Top Ten Tuesdays at Many Little Blessings